I’ll admit it, I’ve been a bad writer, it’s been 13 days since I wrote anything or thought of anything other than indignation and anger, and what I’m beginning to discover is that I’m not very good at expressing myself when I am like that.
Which will explain the emptiness of my writing journals from June through to December last year!
I don’t like washing dirty laundry in public, and I don’t really have anything constructive or wise to say about what has happened, so sorry, if you’re looking for some great philosophical piece about forgiveness, then you might want to look elsewhere. Right now if I was going to post a meme, it would have an awful lot swear words and you could be forgiven for thinking I had some form of written Tourette’s syndrome.
Let’s just say that something happened some months back, and I fell out with someone who I thought was my friend, but it turns out they didn’t ever feel the same way and actually went around spreading rumours about me lying. And 6 months on I’ve only just found out about it, and I am seething because this person couldn’t just leave well enough alone, they had to pick at the sore until it became infected. And I want to be done, I honestly do, I seriously thought I was, and then I found this out, and now I’m seething again because I protected this person, I told very few people and all because I really cared about them.
I’m really trying to let go, and I think writing is the way to do it – if my mind is happily employed in creating something, then there’s no room for that anger and those negative thoughts, because I want to move on, and I want to forget. I really do.
So here’s a little poem in honour of friendships forever lost:
Let me write you a romance,
Let me write you a song,
Let me list all the ways
That this all went wrong.
And at the end of it all
There’ll be no hate to see,
And I will forget the pain
And you will leave me be.
And now I’m just going to post that photo again, because sometimes you find beauty in something, and you have no idea how that was created.